Dear Oakland Raiders,

Goddamn, did you wait all goddamn game to do all your stupid shit in one play? What the Christ? Well, good on you for winning because holy crap you needed it.

Don’t ever change.


Dear Dallas Cowboys,

Way to pull it out, guys. Really.

Great win. Fuck dem Giants.


Dear Texans,

WATT! WATT! WATT! WATT! Watt every play, Watt every position!


Dear Seahawks,

Christ I still hate you.


Dear Marshawn Lynch,

Don’t. Ever. Change.