The weather should be changing about now. Not this weird ass cooling thing that’s been going on. No, the nasty hot humid crap is supposed to be starting up soon. Not that I’m looking forward to it, Christ no. But this has been weighing on my mind. There is a phrase supposedly known as “Texas Air Conditioning.”
“Texas Air Conditioning” is the idea that you open the windows when it’s cooler (overnight/early morning) and close it up to trap the cool in the house during the day.
This is a load of bullshit.
Do you know what it’s like at midnight in Austin on the worst days? 85 degrees. 85 fucking degrees. On a “normal” summer day? maybe 76. And humid. So fucking humid. The air does not move. It is like a heavy weight on your chest. I had a friend move from Austin to fucking Vegas because she was having heart palpitations here, but in Vegas she’s fine and fancy free. How shitty is that? When the goddamn desert is a better option so the thick, disgusting air doesn’t kill you.
This idea of “Texas Air Condition” is completely and totally wrong. Do you want to know what it really is? A GODDAMN AIR CONDITIONER. Yes. We have fucking electricity. We have AC units. Windows units, ductless systems, old fashioned common HVACs. Yes, motherfucker, we have them and we pay a lot to use them because being hot fucking sucks.
Being hot sucks so much that if I were to die due to exposure (in the outdoors) I would rather freeze to death than die out in the summer. When it’s that cold, you just lie down and sleep and just never wake up. Baking to death? Oh hell no. Worst thing ever.
So if you hear someone say “Oh just open up the winders like they do in Texas! That’s good old fashioned air conditioning” Slap them motherfuckers in the face.
