Category: house

Weekend Prednisone High

I’m on Prednisone. A lot of it. 80mg a day. That’s a lot. One of the side effects is “I CAN DO ANYTHING”. I feel like Aelerelean when he first got his Adderall. Last weekend, I reopened my Etsy shop. There were 3 items before. Now there are 12. I made those. All of those. Last weekend. Yeah.

This feeling apparently wears off after a while. This weekend was “MUST COOK THINGS AND CLEAN THINGS!”

There is a nook in my living room. It’s useless. Some built-it wall unit for people with TVs less than 25″. And it’s on a side wall. Not centered. So it’s the crap catcher. It hasn’t been touched in literally years. Does this mean I don’t clean. YES. YES, IT DOES.

This nook is out of the way. No need to even walk by it. You can’t really. You have to maneuver over to it. Like, move a speaker and the sub woofer. You have to really want over there.

And today I did.

What did I find?

  • A box of remotes: Replay TV, HD-DVD player, PS2 dvd remote with the plastic still on it, receiver I long since gave away, Sirius remote, two more Harmony remotes (they like to die whenever. I need backups)
  • Playstation Eye Toy (camera) Used once
  • PS2 memory card adapter reader. Still in the box.
  • 3 PS2 memory cards
  • Wii nunchuck (I gave away my Wii last year)
  • backs to 2 Wii Motes
  • 2 FM antennas for previous receivers
  • Wii Steering wheel new in box
  • Wii classic controller new in package
  • Pilates and yoga dvds, some opened, very unloved
  • Dinosaurs. The ABC sitcom from the 90’s. All four seasons.
  • A picture of Jarrett
  • Diplomas. Plural. Two. My reprint from undergrad (they changed the name) and my Masters. I should frame them or something.
  • The PS2 with a memory card in it.

Jesus Christ hoard much? Yeah most of that got tossed, everything else got cleaned up….and put right back where it was. But it’s CLEAN NOW.

The End Of The Whole Mess

It. Is. Finished.

11 days….

It is Wednesday December 14, 2011. 11 days until Christmas. By this time, I would have made six dozen jars of jams/jellies, at least 4 batches each of marshmallows and other candies, decorated 15 gift boxes, put up and decorated the tree, put lights on the house, and wrapped at least 4 presents. This year’s tally?

  • Dozens of jars of jelly: 1.5
  • Batches of marshmallows: 1
  • Other candy made: 1
  • Light on the house: front and back porch
  • Gift boxes decorated:¬† Zero.
  • Trees erected and decorated: one broken 3 foot tree with one strand of lights.
  • Presents wrapped: Zilch.

I have done nothing this year. I’m having trouble getting into the mood because I HAVE NO KITCHEN. Because I have no kitchen, I can’t put up the tree because the tree goes into the dining room which is currently being worked on. This also means I can’t make anything. The only jellies and candy created was to take up to relatives during Thanksgiving before the kitchen got destroyed. I haven’t wrapped anything (it’s all in a pile on the futon. Boxes and bags all over the goddamn place). Why? we usually use the garage table (8ftx6ft) as space. Can’t do that because the garage holds the kitchen. The stove, microwave, sink, and everything in every cabinet ever. My home does not feel like Christmas. It feels and smells of panic and chaos.


T-minus 11 days.

It’s happening

So, it’s happening. It’s really happening. My kitchen is moving along. Everything is gone: cabinets, flooring, pantry, counterops, microwave, stupid-assed furdown, ceiling fan (adjoining dining room), everything. Gone. There’s even a hole in my ceiling. This is really and truly happening.


Kitchen Remodel: The Timing

I must have a hearing problem. Or maybe it’s just a comprehension problem. Because people will tell me things and I will swear up and down that I understand but when the time comes to repeat or do something with that information I have it all fucking wrong. Just wrong wrong wrong.

Under Budget Kitchens is doing my kitchen. It was explained to me (a couple of times by now) what the timeline was. This what I heard:

December 5: week the cabinets come in
December 7: the day they actually come in
December 15-16: The days the cabinets get busted out and reinstalled
The time between the cabinets coming in and the them getting installed: other construction work to fix my 70’s style house.

My floor is a mess right now. We pulled up the flooring and now there’s horrible nasty 35 year old adhesive stuck to the concrete. I want this fixed now because it’s just ugly and nasty and the old cabinets are there so they can be bumped into with wild abandon. The original plan was to do floors later because I had no money. Well, that went to hell when I tried to pull it up myself (with help from Aelerelean…okay, he did it and I barely helped. I managed. yeah that’s it) and it came up fine. So I looked for a stained/polished concrete guy, thinking “I can get this done now!” Then I remembered. One of the cabinets is going to be shorter than it is now. Meaning, if I got the floors done, there would be this 3 inch space of non treated concrete. SHIT. How do I do this? How do I …oh wait. When is my demo date? Yeah. I’m an idiot. Here’s the actual timeline:

December 5: Demo the kitchen
December 6-14: Demo and reconstruct more of the kitchen
December 15-16: Install the kitchen

Like I said, I must have a hearing problem because for the life of me I could not figure out how this was going to work. You’re probably out there saying “My God, you’re a moron.” Yes. Yes I am. But I’ll be a moron with a new kitchen.

Kitchen Remodel: The Beginning

When I moved into my house 8 years ago (holy crap) I decided that the kitchen had to go. The appliances were old, the floor was old, the countertops were YELLOW, the blinds were also yellow with darker yellow flowers on them.

It had to go.

But hell, I didn’t have kind of money. So I waited. I upgraded the fridge and the stove, did what I could with the pantry, but eventually I knew I couldn’t go any longer without a full renovation. I made my decision to dig myself out of some debt (some. If I wait for ‘all’ it would never get done) then get going on the kitchen. Now all I knew is that I wanted New Kitchen. What color paint? Dunno. What kind of countertops? Not yellow. What kind of cabinets? Not ones that drop slivers of wood into everything. What did I want? Not This.

So the plan was to pay off a big chunk of debt then in January, get a new kitchen. I decide to execute on this plan in August. Since I didn’t know what I wanted, I figured I should go get some ideas of what I could so. I went to Under Budget Kitchens since I knew other people had had good experiences with them. I look at some cabinets, talked to the owner and before I knew it, I was scheduling an appointment for a measuring. Oh God too soon!

Not too soon. After the measuring came the CAD renderings. I was in love. I wanted my new kitchen RIGHT NOW. I made some decisions on style and color then type of counter tops. The more I thought about it, the more excited and anxious I became. Fuck January, let’s get it started now!


A guy I follow on Twitter said “I’ve given up on looking at the temperature and just look at a piece of paper that says “Hot as FUCK”. I really should just do this. I watch the weather every morning. Why? I don’t know. Maybe I just want to be depressed? My front and back yard are a mix of brilliant green, sad looking green, and dead. It’s only green because I have trees. I’m watering my trees. My grass can fend for itself.

My poor little garden boxes? Yeah. It’s just too hot and it takes too much water during an “exceptional” drought. The sunflowers looked crappy even in full bloom, I planted two rounds of peas and they never grew taller than 4 inches before dying a crispy death, cucumbers are just a lost cause. Mint is okay and tomatoes are okay. But I don’t think it’s worth trying to keep it all watered every day in conditions like this. So, with my heart heavy, I have decided to let all this shit die. I’m yanking out the sunflowers today and putting a tarp over it so the cats can stop using it as a goddamn litterbox. Why are they using it as a litterbox you ask? Because I erected a quickie fence (stapled mesh around the box) around the other one. This was apparently too much effort for a cat to jump over or even squeeze through the cat wide gap to shit in their favorite place. So now they use the sunflower box. And they don’t even bother to cover it up. Goddamn outdoor cats.

So, yeah. It’s hot. There are cracks in my yard deep and wide enough to lose a kid in. It’s been stupid hot for a coupe of months now. It was hot (hotter than average) since MARCH. We haven’t had a good long spell of rain since OCTOBER OF 2010.

And to think we still have another 2 months of this shit.

Operation: Screw Our Guests is now on hold

I never posted what OSOG was in the first place. Okay. Our couch is about 6 years old. The springs are gone, the cushions are smooshed, we can feel the wooden frame every time we sit down. We need a new couch. So we went couch shopping. Nothing thrilled me like the reclining theater-like chairs that were impractical. But Aelerelean came up with a brilliant idea. Sine the futon is also made of misery and pain, why don’t we replace that with a couch (a simple, no frills couch) for guests and naps and get reclining theater seats for tv watching. ooohhh. I like this idea. A lot. We commenced shopping again. All was going to be well! Life was gonna be good!

Then my car needed $1400+ in maintenance.

So, Operation: Screw Our Guests is on hold. ūüôĀ

Critters In The Attic

Some time in early¬†December, aelerelean called me at work to say “There’s something in the attic chittering and running around above my room.” FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! That’s all I needed was a damn critter in the attic. He called our pest control guy and animal control. Got no answer from the city but the¬†pest¬†guy said he’d drop off a trap. A trap that apparently 5 year olds can figure out but two 30-something adults cannot. Well, the critter was never heard from and the trap went out into the storage shed.

Fast forward to about a week ago. The house had a …smell. Like overripe vegetables. Did I leave something out? Is the fridge full of year old veg? Nope. Everything was fine. I cleaned a¬†bit, I lit candles, I sprayed air¬†freshener. The smell just got worse. And near the back of the house. Aelerelean figured there was food trash in his garbage can. All garbage was emptied. Still. The Smell. Tuesday I get up (vacation! WHOOO!) and need something from his room. I open the door and am KNOCKED THE FUCK OVER BY THE SMELL. I give aelerelean the news over chat:

me: hey. good news, bad news, and “ah fuck” news. bad news: I woke up at 6:30 this morning. good news: I located the source of the smell. It’s coming from your room. “ah fuck” news: where was the last time you heard The Critter in the attic?
aelerelean: : Ah, FUCK

We call pest guy and tell him The Critter Situation has resolved itself. He came over, sent his poor wife into the attic and…nothing. The attic was undisturbed. No rodent tracks, nothing was dug up, the insulation was just as it has been since it was put in back in 2004. And no smell. So what the fuck? It must have died in the wall. NOOOOO! small holes were drilled and a camera inserted. No critter. But we all agreed that it really didn’t smell like dead critter. Kinda more mildewy and wet like. Huh. To get rid of the smell we were told to get these odor absorbing bags. They, well, absorb odor. Even dead thing odor. Without having to remove dead thing. I highly¬†recommend¬†them. We hung a bag up and in no time, the smell was gone. But what was it??? We search. after a few minutes, we notice that it got stronger in a box of books. But there was nothing else in the box. Just books. Okay. Then we felt the floor. It felt slightly damp. Of course. Then we moved the bookshelf. Yup. The carpet behind the¬†bookshelf¬†was wet. From where?

At the spot of the first Dampening, it shares a wall with my tub where I notice some manky grout. Damn. I must have a hole! Off to Lowes to get caulk and grout and stuff. I fix that then remember that he has TWO bookshelves.  We move the second one. More wet carpet. DAMN! But this shelf shares a wall with HIS bathroom. On a hunch I look under his sink.


We installed an¬†under-sink¬†water filter that¬†apparently¬†has been leaking for GOD KNOWS HOW LONG turning his white vanity a nice green-black. On the plus side, at least a critter hadn’t bit a hole in something or died in the wall. Nope. Just fucking water damage. So now there’s a fan and an air filter going in his room and the exhaust fan and heat lamp in his bathroom. If the vanity wasn’t so damn awkward I would suggest we¬†caulk¬†the shit out of the seams underneath and apply waterproof ANYTHING to it. I am so pissed right now.

Oh and guess who is allergic to molds? Yeah. All of this on top of having to shell out $1440 for strut work to my car. Everything related to struts was shot. Fuck me running. This kills Operation: Screw Our Guests. *sigh*

Happy fucking new year.

Older Houses Fucking ROCK

My house was built in 1977. There are a couple of things about it that I think make it better than a new house:

  1. The foundation is quite settled. When we ripped up the carpets, there were few tiny hairline cracks (normal) and ZERO big ones.
  2. TREES, motherfucker. Real, full grown, adult trees. Trees mean shade, and shade on the house means lower cooling bills. Keep them trimmed, fed and watered. Baby trees fall over and die at the mere hint of a drought.
  3. Strong construction. We found this out when we did network drops. The studs are real, strong hardwood. None of this knotted, crooked, rapid growth crap.
  4. Not made of Chinese made, poor quality drywall. If my drywall is poor, then it was poorly made in the good old US of A. Yeah, I got nothing.
  5. More than 10 feet away from my neighbors.
  6. My own mailbox in front of my goddamn house. None of this collective apartment complex-like crap.
  7. Plenty of “why in the FUCK did they build it like THIS” moments. In other words, it’s not a cookie cutter house. Yeah!

Okay, it’s not a lot, but I do like my house, even though it’s old and starting to show it’s age.