Category: Posts

Open Letters: NFL Week One 2016

Dear Cowboys,

Welp, you tried.


Dear Steelers,

It is very hard to watch Antonio Brown score over and over and be happy when your opponent in Fantasy Football has Antonio Brown and you have DeAngelo Williams. All night was “YEAH! *FUCK*”, “Don’t pass it, don’t pass it, don’t pass it!!!!”, “Run it, run it, run it!!!!” Good job, guys. 🙂


Dear Cleveland Browns,

It’s you. It’s not your QBs. It’s you. You are fucking up perfectly good players. Your organization is royally screwing up players. Fix it.


Dear Rams,



Dear City of Los Angeles,

Congratulations, you assholes. You begged and begged and begged and pleaded and bitched and cried for years. “We don’t have a team!” “We deserve a team!” “Give us a team!” I have never wished so hard for aliens to wipe a city/”fan base” off the planet. Well. There’s your fucking team.



We’re gonna give this amazon associates thing another try.

This Is Why I’m Fat

Happy Pi Day!

Me: Oh hey, it’s Pi Day! What kind of pie do you like?
Aelerelean: Uh…apple?
Me: Apple huh?Man, that’s two whole pies in the house. Wait a minute! Goddammit. This is why I’m fat!
Aelerelean: What do you mean?
Me: Instead of “Hey, I’ll go to Marie Callender’s and get a couple of SLICES of pie” my brain immediately went “I’ll go to Marie Callender’s and get a COUPLE of PIES.” Goddammit!


Upgraded to 2.9.2