Archive for September, 2017

Open Letters To The NFL 2017: Week 2

Dear Patriots,

Just fuck you guys. I can’t count on you to do shit right. Still. Oh yeah, your defense didn’t have me at negative points. I got a whopping 0. Fuck you guys. Fuck your QB. Fuck your dynasty. Fuck anybody even tangentially involved with you fucksticks.

Dear Dallas Cowboys,

Fucking hell, ‘Zeke! You don’t give up on a play! Not when you’re only in your second season. WTF, man! This ain’t the Browns. I’d understand if it were. Y’all need to play like it was last season. Get out of your heads and just play.

Dear Houston Texans,

I got nothing. Jesus shit.

Open Letters to the NFL: 2017 Week One, Game One

Dear WordPress,

Why are my posts fucked up? FIX IT! FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT!

Dear New England Fuck You Patriots,

You are now officially the Cowboys. Why? I can’t trust you fuck nuggets to do anything you’re supposed to. What happened? Well, let’s see…

  1. I started the Pats defense
  2. I sat Amendola
  3. I picked the Pats to win in Eliminator because it’s fucking week one, wtf.

This resulted in -2 points. -2.

Eat a sack of infected snail genitals.