Dear Pittsburgh Steelers,
The fuck was that? The fuck? THE FUCK???? WHAT IN THE ACTUAL LIVING FUCK WAS THAT?
Dear Houston Texans,
The fuck was that? The fuck? THE FUCK???? WHAT IN THE ACTUAL LIVING FUCK WAS THAT? HOW??? HOW?????????? AND YOU BROKE J.J. WATT! GODDAMMIT!
Dear Oakland Raiders,
Keep on keepin’ on.
Dear Dallas Cowboys,
Dez Bryant is not my fault. I’m actually rather proud of Dak. I’m surprised and thrilled that a rookie is playing as well as he is. He seems really professional and ready for this level of play. Good job, Dak. Eat a bag of dicks, Jerry.