Category: odd

Fuck this state so goddamn hard


“Gov. Rick Perry, on a conference call with fellow evangelicals, chided church-state separation as a Satan-fueled myth, urged `Christian soldiers’ to march to the polls, and accepted thanks for ending the drought.”



STOP ELECTING THIS MAN. Jesus H Christ on a pogo stick. First Amendment, motherfucker, do you see it?

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…”

I can’t even think let alone write any coherent sentence because I am so angry. What the fuck is wrong with him? He is actively pushing for the “dance for rain, afraid of eclipse” thought process to come back.

Maybe he is a massive troll. He and George W might have cooked up this huge practical joke years ago and have successfully trolled all of us. Us meaning human beings with actually logical thought processes. This is the only thing I can think of when I hear the horrible shit that comes out of his mouth.

Perry is the worst thing ever in this state. Worse than the wildfires, worse than the drought, worse than a yeast infection on top of a urinary tract infection. I wish everyday that the majority of Texans would wake up and get this man out of office. Seeing his name, hearing his name, turns my stomach and reduces me to screaming obscenities and gibberish. Not even Time Warner makes me that angry.

And I fucking hate Time Warner with all of my heart and spleen.

Nickelback truly is a terrible band

I have no idea what kind of periodical Boise Weekly is, but I love that they have writers that can and will say what the truly fell about a horrible band. In case it gets yanked:

You can spend $45 to go see Nickelback this week.

Or you could buy 45 hammers from the dollar store, hang them from the ceiling at eye level and spend an evening banging the demons out of your dome.

That $45 would also buy you a lot of pickles, which have more fans on Facebook than the band. It would also buy you an introduction to rock guitar video course that would allow you to surpass the band’s skill level in five hours or less.

$45 is also enough to see Men in Black III five times, buy a dozen Big Macs, do 10 loads of laundry or so many other experiences as banal and meaningless as seeing Nickelback but that come without having to actually hear Nickelback.

But if you must, the band is playing the Idaho Center on Wednesday, June 13, at 6 p.m. Tickets start at $45.


And no, it’s not just some internet journal:

Harry Potter

In a fit of “I don’t know what I want to listen to”, I decided to listen to the Harry Potter audio book series again (Stephen Fry version, thank you very much). And every time I listen to it, I have questions. Questions that NO ONE asks. Because they’re smart. And don’t spend stupid amounts of time thinking of these things.

Constant peril:

  • In every book, Harry and friends get into life threatening situations. My first thought was “WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU CONTINUE TO SEND YOUR CHILD TO A PLACE WHERE THEY COULD DIE HORRIBLY??” I mean goddamn! It’s. SCHOOL. You don’t expect your kid to snuff it at a moment’s notice when they’re IN SCHOOL of all places. And this relaxed attitude about it. “Oh, Cedric bit it? Shit. Welp, see you next term!” Really? What the hell is that?? My kid dies on school property, I wouldn’t stop suing until I was dead in the ground.

The Weasleys:

  • These people have how many kids? 7? And they’re one of the most prominent wizarding families? But somehow there’s no hardship scholarship? Come on, now!

Hogwarts/other schools:

  • Can we get some central heat and AC for these kids? The hell?


  • The ministry can detect what spell was cast, the precise time, the precise place, can send you a letter mere minutes after the fact, but it can’t tell who cast the fucking spell? Brilliant. That’s government for you.
  • And what the hell? No phones, no lights, no motor cars (well, there was talk of cars later), no internet (again, to be fair, Harry started Hogwarts in 1991), no cell phones (again, 1991), no TV, no movies, and no one seems to read for pleasure. What the hell do these people do for leisure? The closest thing I remember is Mrs. Weasley listening to a Christmas program on the radio. THE RADIO.
  • Owls. Really? This is the fastest means of communications when you have no fireplace? You can make a mirror that shows your deepest desires and a room that appears when you need it, but you can’t make a goddamn phone? I’m not even talking cell phones. Just a plain old Alexander Graham Bell style phone. What would Harry’s life had been like if someone coulda called Lily and James with a “Peter sold you out, yo. Beat feet.”
  • Quills and parchment? So Hermione’s homework wouldn’t be valid if she wrote it in a Mead spiral with a ball point pen? Them shit’s cheap, quills and parchment ain’t.
  • @aelerelean brought up the idea that even though Mr. Weasley works with Muggle artifacts and collects them, he is completely flummoxed by phones and electricity. I countered that the wizarding world didn’t see a need to develop that kind of tech. Also, pointing out that Arthur works in the department (and is an “expert” at Muggle tech) is like pointing out that Mulder was head of the X-Files department. Frankly, no one else wanted. This leads back to that lack of recreational reading. He could get his ass to a Muggle library and read a goddamn book about phones, electricity, ANYTHING.

I know I’ll have more to add. I only restarted Chamber of Secrets around noon today.