Dear Steelers,

Get an OLine.

Dear Steelers D-line,

I still love you.

Dear Polamalu,

Goddamn, son. It looks like you’re being far more aggressive this season. Keep it up. Oh, I know you had to make a choice: Painter or the receiver. You were so goddamn close it hurt my heart. Good job, though.

 

Dear Curtis Painter,

Dude. Try not to look like a stoned surfer in your headshots.

 

Dear Romo,

I would have bet money that you guys wouldn’t win last night. Not because you suck, but holy shit, YOU HAVE A PUNCTURED LUNG AND CRACKED RIBS! Witten has bruised ribs, Bryant has a hurt leg, Austin was out, Jones had a fucked up shoulder. Those would be the reasons why I thought you wouldn’t win. I never in a million years would have thought it was your stupid ass center. What in the hell was his problem? And have you beaten him yet? Get healthy, congrats on your win against the odds.

Dear Phil Costa,

You should be beaten with a pillowcase full of oranges by your teammates. You should have to report to Rob Ryan for an ass chewing and when Rob gets tired of that, you should then have to call REX Ryan and have him berate you. Then Rex gets to keep your number on speed dial so he can have someone to yell at 24/7. AND THEN and incontinent monkey with a huge bladder gets to piss in your ear.

 

Dear Detroit Football Lions of the NFL,

Every week is a new discovery with you guys. Keep it going, please.