Dear Detroit Lions,



Dear Tampa Bay Buccaneers,

FUCK. YES. Can I say that any louder? FUCK. YES. Fuck the Dolphins. Fuck Incognito. Fuck MRSA. You held them bitches to 2 (TWO!!!) rushing yards. Goddamn yes. A game that was supposed to be a battle of the suck (and it kinda was) turned out to be pretty entertaining! You blew your load with two trick plays in the beginning of the game, but you made up for it. SWEET.


Dear Jerry Jones,

Looks like you did indeed make a mistake firing Rob Ryan. Moron. You are why Tom Landry died a Giants fan.


Dear Jacksonville Jaguars,

Don’t get a big head over this. You’re still terrible.


Dear Cincinnati Bengals,

OMG That was fucking awesome. I know you ended up losing it, but fucking hell, Dalton. That was just beautiful.


Dear Seattle Seahawks,

Fuck you. Fuck you all day. Fuck you everyday. Fuck you until the end of time. I hope a team of howler monkeys pisses in each and every one of your ears, your Gatorade, and your mouths.


Dear Eagles,

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh man. Just…wow. Kinda proud of you.


Dear Michael Vick,

Dude. Hope you saved enough.


Dear Houston Texans,

Oh GODDAMMIT. Next year. Next year HAS to be better.


Dear St. Louis Rams,

I love you. Thank you. Thank you sooooo much. *sniff*


Dear Andrew Luck,

I laughed the rest of Sunday. I watched the Texans lose while laughing. I watched Dallas Cowboy all over the field while holding my belly in laughter. I giggled in my sleep. How you managed to beat Peyton in The House That Peyton Built only to turn around and get assfucked by the ST. LOUIS RAMS is beyond me.