I like cupcakes. I really do. But I didn’t give a rat’s ass about cupcakes before my friend’s wedding. She didn’t have a cake. She had cupcakes. So what? Mini cakes. Same thing right? Oh God no. There was something about these cupcakes (Delish Bakery). They were awesome. Perfectly moist, perfectly flavored, simply elegant.

Goddamn Elegant Cupcake

 

As much as I love these cupcakes, it’s a pain in the goddamn ass to get to 3rd street. Downtown Austin blows. Getting there, finding parking, not getting hit by other pissed off drivers…ugh. I try, though. Every so often I just want a damn cupcake and I brave downtown to get some sweet, sweet, delicious cupcake action. Now, there are MUCH CLOSER cupcake places than Delish. I can walk to one. But I don’t. Why? Well, walking blows. And because it’s just not a Delish cupcake. At all.

After I tried and failed to secure a proper cupcake stash (they freeze AMAZINGLY well), I said “well, fuck it. I’ll give this place up in Cedar Park a shot.” It’s called Gigi’s Cupcakes. It’s a franchise. It has great reviews for taste, not so much for selection. And it’s way the fuck out in Cedar Park. Fine. When I walked in I immediately saw why this place gets great review: Frosting Junkies. You guys kill me. A cupcake is not just a delivery mechanism for frosting. It is the mix of moist flavorful cake and the right amount and taste of the frosting. You may disagree. And that’s fine. If you can live your life knowing that you are the wrongiest wrong person that has ever walked the earth (along with you bastards that like to fuck up brownies and cookies with–ugh–nuts!) then that’s fine. I mean look at this cupcake:

Your cupcake is broadcasting it's failings

Look at that MOUND of sugar! Do you know what this cupcake is saying to me? “My cake is weak.” When you have to rely on a mountain of frosting you are telling me that your cake is not strong. It is not a strong cake. It must have aerial support. This. This will not do. Slightly deflated I ordered 6 cupcakes: 2 wedding cake, one Italian cake (which probably has nuts and I was a moron and didn’t ask first), one lemon icebox, one lemon glaze, and one chocolate chip cookie dough. Because cookie dough is awesome.


Gigis

Lookit all dat sugar!

First of all, why do you not have the basics? Is Wedding Cake supposed to be your plain jane vanilla? I judge on plain flavors. Because face it, if you can’t get basic vanilla down then what hope do I have for your “wackier” creations. Like the S’Mores cupcake. I wish I could have taken a picture of it in the case. It looked like someone rolled a cupcake in the toppings tray at an ice cream place. There was just too much going on. On the flip side, when Delish had a S’Mores cupcake, again, it was elegant. A chocolate cupcake with a toasted meringue. But I digress.

So I get these bad boys home. After dinner I decided I would try the chocolate chip cookie dough one. Right off the bat I was annoyed. I have a big mouth and yet I could not take a bite big enough to get both cake and frosting in one go. Grrr. Fine. SO I ate a bit of frosting. Guys, it was glorious. It tasted like they figured out a way to make whipped cookie dough. It tasted EXACTLY like Toll House (okay, better) cookie dough. This made me ridiculously happy. Then I tasted the cake. Total letdown. All of the flavor in the frosting didn’t make it to the cake. It was more chocolate chip muffin than cake. BUT, when put together (after scraping half the frosting off) it was perfect. It really was. It was what I was talking about: the perfect mix of frosting and cake, flavorwise. I was pleasantly surprised.
Cake Grade: C. Sorry, but the cake itself was kind of bland. Something was missing.
Frosting Grade: A+. Tasted exactly like I imagined it should!
Total Grade: B+. Together, they were great.

The Bad (compared to Delish):
–Frosting is heaped on like it’s never going out of style.
–No plain flavors. I don’t need wacky inventive all the time.

The Good (compared to Delish):
–Larger sized cupcake.
–Don’t have to find parking downtown