There was NFL football last night.

After a long NHL season (GO PENS!), a summer of drone racing, drag car racing, funny car racing, full blown rugby, sweet lord, Canadian Football, avoiding any and all baseball, there was actual NFL on the TV.

And I was bored.

Fuck me running, I now understand why people bitch about the speed. NFL is. So. Sllllooooowwwww. So. Many. Stoppages. I was screaming “SNAP THE GODDAMN BALL” in the first quarter of the first preseason game of the season.

Sweet Jesus, it’s been a long fucking offseason. I have been away from football for so long that legit asked out loud “Huh, they shorten the quarters for the HOF game?” No, dumbass. It’s always been 15 minutes, not 20. I went to fast forward through halftime and was confused when the game came back in 15 minutes, not 30.

Y’all. I ain’t gonna make it to February.

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