Dear Dallas Football Cowboys,

2 weeks in a row. I want to believe you have changed for the better. Maybe because Jerry is not interfering as much or he’s not all there. If you are indeed on the upswing, I refuse to believe that it has anything to do with Jerry actually doing something. I prefer to think tat he has finally stopped meddling and you guys can be the team you are meant to be.

Of course…it is only October.


Dear St. Louis “Shitbird ass kicking” Rams,

OMFG, I LOVE YOU! I don’t care if you never win another game this season. You beat the Shitbirds! Without Bradford, no less! *big hugs all around*


Dear Jacksonville Jaguars,

So wait. The Browns beat the Steelers last week. You beat the Browns this week. Does that mean you’re better than the Steelers? Jesus, I hope that’s not true.


Dear Detroit Lions,

Keep on keepin’ on! 5 wins! You have come so far from that 0-16 season! So very proud of you guys. 🙂


Dear Oakland “Soon to be Los Angeles (again) or San Antonio or Bumfuck, Nebraska” Raiders,

You’re not gonna get a stadium at this rate.


Dear Pittsburgh “Haven’t lost at home on MNF in 15 games” Steelers,


I’m glad you proved me wrong. It looked like you were going to shit the bed right up until the two minute warning in the first half. But somehow–SOMEHOW–you scored 24 unanswered motherfucking points in two minutes and 54 seconds. Let’s let that sink in. At 2:00 before the first half ended, it was 13-3 Houston. J.J. Watt was all over the goddamn field. Arian Foster was blowing up your immature defense. Then Crazy Shit(tm) happened. And the half ends 13-24 Pittsburgh. Holy fucking shit, guys. Thank you for making me proud to wear my t-shirts again.



Dear Baltimore Ravens,

Fuck you forever. Still.

« »