Dear Cowboys fans,

I’m sorry. It is all my fault. Romo’s out for 8 weeks with a broken collarbone because of me. Why? I picked him as QB in not one but BOTH of my fantasy leagues. I also started him in both leagues and even had the audacity to make him my starter over Peyton Fucking Manning. I’m deeply, deeply sorry.

However, it was deeply satisfying and oh so delicious to see Jerry Jones’s face when it happened.

 

Dear Pittsburgh Steelers,

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

 

I’d like to know, too.

 

Dear Houston Texans,

*Sadly shakes head in disappointment*

 

Dear Cleveland Browns,

Really? REALLY?!?!? Good Job.

 

Dear Oakland Raiders,

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. SO VERY VERY MUCH! THANK YOU FOR THAT WIN! Fuck Baltimore!

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