Dear Pittsburgh “are you fucking kidding me 6 TDs” Steelers,

Holy goddamn shit, guys! I hate those uniforms with a  fucking passion. And maybe you too because 6 touchdowns. SIX. 51 to 34. I watched as Andrew Luck (my goddamn fantasy QB) tried his best to rally but no. At home,  in those horrible Three Stooges prison uniforms. Of course you were going to win. Good on you. Now do that vs the Ravens.

 

Dear Dallas Cowboys,

DON’T YOU FUCKING DIE ON ME, ROMO!

 

Dear Houston “Just Have Watt Do Everything” Texans,

You have J.J. Watt. My mom, a die hard Cowboys fan, wants your jersey. That’s how fucking awesome Watt is.

 

Dear Sunday,

I watched football from 9am to 10:30pm. Holy shit. Good on you for airing the London game to EVERYONE. I loved it. But shut up about the goddamn field. It’s soccer turf in a different goddamn country. ENOUGH.

 

Dear Kansas City Chiefs,

You won. Your Royals won (10-0!!!!). Your Kansas State cats blanked the Longhorns. That was a good weekend.

 

Dear Oakland Raiders,

FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

 

Dear Buffalo Bills,

I ain’t got a thing to say. Holy crap. I barely even know you exist and you pull that kind of a lead on the Jets. Wow.

 

Dear My Two Fantasy Leagues,

FUCK FANTASY FOOTBALL. ALL DAY. EVERYDAY. Why the FUCK do I play this?

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